


Surviving For Nothing

by ImpyTricky (rychuu)



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alana Shine is a D.I.C.E. member, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fratricide, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Multi, She's the one with long brown hair with braids, Zombie Apocalypse, sororicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:00:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24678874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rychuu/pseuds/ImpyTricky
Summary: After finding a penthouse full of supplies, Kaito and Shuichi notice that Kokichi has been acting extremely closed off and very strangely. When Kokichi gets extremely drunk for the second time in a row, he starts spiraling out of control. (Saioumota)
Relationships: Momota Kaito/Oma Kokichi, Momota Kaito/Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, saioumota
Comments: 10
Kudos: 174
Collections: Kokichi Ouma Month





	Surviving For Nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StarDandere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarDandere/gifts).



> Hello welcome to absolute pain and suffering! What do you expect when you give me an Apocalypse AU prompt?
> 
> This was written for Day 12 of Ouma Month, with ALL of the prompts! That would be: Apocalypse AU + Guilt + Loss.
> 
> This is a gift for Star, AKA StarDandere. It's loosely based off of an old plot bunny we had with a few other friends, but just barely inspired :'D I hope you like it Star! I hope you don't cry....... too much, hueueueue.

“What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?!”

Kaito couldn’t help but to yell at him, not after what he had asked. Those foreboding words that rang in his ears, haunting him despite it only being mere moments after they had been said.

Kokichi started laughing, snorting and swaying in an uncharacteristic and clumsy way, dazed and drunk off of a bottle of booze they had found hidden in the penthouse. “Whaaaat? It jus’ wanna know. Why do you care sooo much about it?” He grinned wider. “So, did’ja do it? Did’ja have to put’em down? Shoot them right in the back of the head, _pow!”_ Kokichi pointed at Kaito’s head like his hand was a pistol, and pretended to fire. The apparent ‘force’ made Kokichi laugh and sway, nearly falling off of the bed he was sitting on. “Bam, boom! Dead! G’night, Mr. and Mrs. Zombie!”

“Kokichi, that’s _enough,”_ Shuichi warned, moving over to him and snatching the half-empty bottle of alcohol out of his hand. “You’ve gone too far.”

“Awww! Buuut why? Y’know what kind of world we’re livin’ in, right?” Kokichi’s grin only widened. It was almost uncanny how wide it had been. “Isn’t it normal now? If a loved one’s turned, you gotta put’em down, right? They wouldn’t… wanna hurt anyone, y’know? If there’s no savin’ them…”

Shuichi opened his mouth to reply, but something stopped him. Instead his brows furrowed, and his lips pursed together into a tight frown. Kaito didn’t know what made him go quiet in that moment, but Kaito couldn’t settle the absolute _rage_ in his chest.

“You don’t ask people that!” Kaito shouted. “How _dare_ you?!”

“So, did’ja put’em down? Your grandparents,” Kokichi tilted his head with a hum. “You’re soooo mad, so you did, didn’t you?”

“Shut up!” He hated how Kokichi was laughing, he hated that question he kept asking. Grief only fueled his own rage. He took a threatening step forward, blindly ready to punch Kokichi’s grin right off of his face, but Shuichi gasped and moved towards him.

“Kaito, it isn’t worth it,” Shuichi blurted out. “Please, just ignore him--”

“--Ignore me? Ha!” Kokichi threw his head back into a laugh, and he moved his hand to grab at the bed sheets. Though he hummed and looked around, frowning. “.... ‘Eh, where’d the booze go? Where’d it go? I want more...”

“You’re drunk, Kokichi,” Shuichi stated, bluntly though still quite the understatement. “I took it from you. Do you not remember?” Shuichi’s frown deepened. “I literally just took it away.”

“... Ooooh. Why?” Kokichi leaned forward, and pouted. “I wasn’t done with it.”

“Because you’ve clearly had enough.” Shuichi glared at him, though his eyes softened. Kaito couldn’t figure out how Shuichi wasn’t feeling the eternal fire he himself felt, but something about looking into those golden eyes of his dampened the rage burning there. 

Before Kaito could make any remarks, Shuichi continued. “This morning… we said we wouldn’t drink any more of it. Why did you go back on that?”

“Huuh? We did? I don’t remember thaaaaaat…” Kokichi hummed and swayed again, his childish cheer making that fire return in Kaito’s chest. He hated the way he was grinning. “Buuuut! Don’tcha wanna? Last night was suuuuper nice, y’know? No worries, no nothin’... just us in this giiiant, glamorous penthouse! We wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for the end of the world!” Kokichi extended his hands out with a flourish. “Last night was soooo great, I wanted to do it again! Mmm, but you two--” Kokichi pointed at them, pouting even more. “Y’said this morning… it was a mistake, right?” Kokichi started sniffling. “After all that… after makin’ me feel so… so good and sayin’ you loved me… it was just one biiiig fuck up, right?” The grin came back, but it was more strained and malicious in nature. “Riiiiight?”

“Shut the hell up!” Kaito could stand to be silent now longer, and he shoved Shuichi aside. He grabbed Kokichi’s shirt by the collar, and dragged him up to his feet. “What the hell is your problem?! Do you just-- _enjoy_ messing with us?! Are you that heartless?!”

Kokichi finched and grunted when Kaito moved him, and his head swayed as if he was dizzy from the sudden movement. He stared at Kaito with wide eyes, before he scoffed and gritted his teeth. “Tch. You’re… you’re annoying,” he growled. “Fine! Then leave me here, if you hate me so much!” Kokichi weakly shoved Kaito away, grinning like he had lost his mind. “You guys can take all the supplies, too! Since you _hate_ me so much, I’d bet you wouldn’t wanna share anyway! No no, it’s fine, I _insist!”_ He backed away, stumbling, before he shouted; “I hate you guys anyway! Last night was just a big lie, and I’ve decided I don’t like you, so I’m gonna go take over the other a-apartment. No losers allowed! I’ll just… I’ll just go back to Alana, so whatevs! I don’t care about… Either of you...”

“Kokichi, what are you _saying?”_ Shuichi whimpered. He looked downright frightened, and there were tears gathering in his eyes. “Stop, just… just tell us what’s wrong. Please. You’ve been acting… _off,_ ever since we left the other apartment complex. Please…”

Now that Shuichi had mentioned it, Kaito had noticed it too. Kokichi acting far more shut off from them, with the night prior being a drastic exception. No attempts at any jokes, no attempts to make them smile, nothing. Even the insistence to move was strange, considering what Kokichi left behind. 

A girl Kokichi called his little sister--Alana Shine, if Kaito remembered correctly. Her living corpse that Kokichi trapped on the 11th floor, housing her and feeding her infected rabbits that he hunted from an old ranch near the city. He insisted that she didn’t have any bits of rotting flesh or any signs of being bitten, so her turning into a zombie was unique. Kokichi insisted that she could be cured if they just waited long enough.

Then suddenly, a week ago, Kokichi started acting strange. Then four days after that, he ordered them to move out, claiming he took Alana to the old abandoned ranch overrun with the rabbits he had been hunting from, where she would be safe and not starve to death while waiting for a cure.

And yet...

“Hey, did something happen?” The words left Kaito’s lips before he could stop to think about them. “Shuichi’s right, you’ve been acting way too weird these past few days.”

“Heeey, weren’t you mad at me just a second ago?” Kokichi dodged the question, tilting his head. “So, are you ready to answer my question? ‘Bout what happened to your grandparents, I mean.”

The fire immediately returned, and it took every ounce of strength in Kaito’s body to not storm over there and punch Kokichi right in the face. “Shut up! What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?!”

“Kaito, stop, he’s just trying to get under your skin,” Shuichi cautioned. “Something’s wrong.”

“Huuuh? Nothin’s wrong. Oh, actually, Shuuuichi!” Kokichi chirped, grinning. “Y’know, your aunt and uncle…”

“Don’t you fucking _dare!_ ” Kaito snapped. Unable to control his rage any longer, he stormed over to Kokichi and punched him square in the face. Kokichi hollered and fell over from the impact. 

“Kaito!” Shuichi called out to him, but Kaito wasn’t listening anymore.

“You asshole! Don’t you _dare_ talk to Shuichi like that!”

“Kaito, stop!” Shuichi moved in between him and Kokichi. Tears had gathered in his eyes. “Stop it, this isn’t worth it!”

“I don’t care what the fuck is wrong, I won’t let him toy with us!” Kaito gritted his teeth and snarled. “He’s treating us like crap, and he’s not gonna get away with it just 'cause he decided to get wasted!”

“Kaito!” Shuichi wasn’t deterred by Kaito’s rage, however, and even took a step towards him. Something about it was almost threatening, and it dampened the fire once more. “Fighting like this isn’t going to help anyone. Punching him isn’t going to knock some sense into him, either. You can’t let him get to you.”

“So what?! Are we supposed to just sit here and take his bullshit?!” Kaito countered. “Are we just supposed to take it and coddle him and pretend like this shit doesn’t hurt us?!”

“Of course not!” Shuichi frowned. “But there’s… there’s something really, _really_ wrong here… Think about it. Why would Kokichi drink so much when he was the one who said this morning that we shouldn’t drink again like last night? Why is he asking us… _that?”_ Shuichi closed his eyes, swallowing hard. He looked pale and sick to his stomach. “I… I don’t know what’s going on, but something isn’t right. I have a really bad feeling about this… So let’s just, calm down, and talk, okay?”

Kaito huffed, but he dropped the tension in his shoulders. When he saw Kaito had calmed, at least to the point where he would go along with it, Shuichi turned around to face Kokichi. Only that Kokichi was no longer there.

“Wha--Where’d he go?” Kaito certainly hadn’t _seen_ him leave, but he was also blinded by fury and anger in the heat of the moment. It probably would have been easy for Kokichi to slip out of the penthouse via the front door.

“Did he run away?” Shuichi’s question was rhetorical. Of course he ran off--if Shuichi was right, and something was seriously wrong… then of course Kokichi would sneak off while he and Shuichi were distracted. 

“He couldn’t have gotten far,” Kaito pointed out, already making a move towards the door. “He’s piss drunk, there’s no way he wouldn’t trip or fall a bunch of times.”

“That’s… what’s scaring me. What if he trips down the stairs?” Shuichi quickly tailed after Kaito, and Kaito could see that he was shaking. “He could get hurt.”

“We’ll find him before he has the chance. He couldn’t have gotten far.” Kaito opened the door, ushering Shuichi to exit first before he shut the door behind him. Useless etiquette during a zombie apocalypse, but a habit that died hard. “Kokichi! Where are you?”

As they entered the hall, they started looking for him and calling out for him, but to no avail. The other penthouse apartment was empty, and there were no signs of him anywhere.

“You don’t think he _actually_ went down the stairs, do you?” Kaito said, glancing at the door down the hall. “He said something about going back to that zombie girl…”

“He’s drunk… it’s possible his better judgment is impaired.” That was a severe understatement. “We should… we should check, just to be sure.”

With a curt nod, Kaito opened the door to the stairwell, and just looking down one flight of stairs was enough. There Kokichi was, laying at the bottom of the stairs, eyes half lidded and a silenced pistol in his hand.

“Kokichi!”

Both Shuichi and Kaito rushed down the stairs, and thankfully, they didn’t see any blood pooling underneath Kokichi’s head, only a bruise from Kaito’s strike blossoming on his cheek. When they got closer, they both could see the tears streaming down Kokichi’s face and dampening his cheeks.

“For fuck’s sake, Kokichi, we were worried about you!” Kaito grunted. Sighing, he knelt down, to get a better look at Kokichi. “You okay?”

Shuichi sat on his knees next to Kokichi and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Are you hurt?”

Kokichi didn’t respond to him, not immediately. His lips were parted ever so slightly, and he hadn’t even acknowledged either one of them. Finally, he wheezed; “I fell down.”

“I can see that…” Kaito murmured, huffing as he tried to lift Kokichi up. Kokichi flinched, however, and Kaito withdrew immediately. “C’mon, we need to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself.”

“I’m _fine,”_ Kokichi hissed. “You guys d… don’t care anyway. You hate me.”

“We _do_ care,” Shuichi insisted. He looked like he was about to cry, probably from all of the built up stress and all that happened. “We don’t hate you… but when you ask us something like that, we…”

“It’s fucked up to ask us if we put down our own family members,” Kaito said, bluntly. “You don’t fucking ask people that shit. It’s fucked up.”

Kokichi didn’t respond immediately. More tears swelled in his eyes, wetting his cheeks even more. He sniffled, and curled in on himself. “... ‘M sorry.”

While Kaito felt a jab in his chest, a nagging need to scoop Kokichi up into his arms and comfort him, he still felt angry. He would need more time to forgive Kokichi than just a drunken apology, even if it was genuine. “We’ll talk when you’re sober. We gotta get you back to the hideout and look you over and make sure we treat any wounds or whatever. Don’t want anything getting infected.”

Kaito’s words were curt and to the point, but when he went to grab Kokichi to help him up, Kokichi stiffened. He sobbed, and shook his head. “N… no. I don’t wanna go back. Just go on without me.”

“You know we can’t leave you here,” Shuichi muttered, frowning as he tried to rub Kokichi’s shoulder. “So… let’s just, go back, okay?”

“Mmmph… n… no,” Kokichi wheezed and shook his head again. “Don’t wanna.”

“What are you, five?” Kaito growled. He was not in the mood for Kokichi’s temper tantrum. “Get up, we’re gonna look you over and then you’re going straight to bed.”

“Nnnngh…” No matter how Kaito tried to get Kokichi to stand, he only tense and refused to budge. “Just… leave me alone… Leave me…”

“Kokichi, get up.” Kaito’s brows furrowed. “Come on. Don’t make me carry you.”

“Don’t touch me,” Kokichi snarled. He swatted his hand at Kaito’s, though he was clearly lacking control of his limbs. He barely touched him, and his arm flopped back on the ground. Kokichi curled in on himself more. “Jus’.... Jus’ go away.”

“Kokichi…” Shuichi’s voice sounded like he was at his wits end. Kaito didn’t know how he had the patience to deal with any of this, especially after everything went downhill so quickly. “What’s going on with you? You… can’t hide it anymore, you know. Something’s wrong. I know you’re hiding something… Please, just let us help you.”

“I don’t _want_ your help,” Kokichi growled. “Don’t want it.”

“Why are you being so stubborn?!” Kaito balled his fists, and gritted his teeth so hard that he felt as if his jaw would snap. “Just--just let us help you! Would it kill you to let us help you, somehow? What are you hiding?!”

“I’m not hiding nothin’! So leave me alone!”

“Kokichi… we can’t ignore this any more. You know that, right?” Shuichi’s gaze hardened. “This… can’t go on. So please, just tell us what’s wrong.”

Silence. Kokichi stopped protesting, and they weren’t going to leave until he caved. Not that it looked like Kokichi could keep his walls up for much longer. Finally, he looked up at them, and whispered; “Did you have to… put’em down?”

Kaito was bewildered. He knew Kokichi was drunk, but to constantly ask the same question that made him and Shuichi _so clearly_ upset over and over again, Kaito couldn’t even process it. He even apologized for it, and yet there he was, asking again.

Before Kaito could process it, Shuichi’s brows furrowed. “Why… are you so fixated on that? Are you trying to upset us?”

Kokichi’s gaze fell, and he completely curled in on himself. He started sobbing. He started blubbering out incoherent nonsense, apologies and words Kaito just couldn’t understand, but it was starting to finally dawn on him what dark secret Kokichi was keeping. 

Apparently, Shuichi had pieced it together as well, for he whispered softly; “... Kokichi, what really happened to Alana?”

Finally, the walls Kokichi were trying to keep up around his heart crumbled into dust. 

He started crying harder and louder, burying his face in his hands and being unable to answer. By that point, however, they didn’t need an answer. They both already knew it, and maybe they had known deep down the moment Kokichi said they were going to leave the city. 

“....‘L-Lana!” he cried out in between his hysterical sobbing. He started wailing. “A… Alana…! ‘Lana…!”

Kaito nor Shuichi knew what to say. Kaito wasn’t even sure what he should do. The part of him that ached for Kokichi wanted to scoop him up into his arms and hold him to his chest. Wanting to comfort him as he so clearly grieved. Yet a part of him was hesitant. Not angry, not unforgiving--by that point, he had finally understood the true meaning of the horrifying question Kokichi had been asking them--but still hesitant. As if he wasn’t allowed to do as such, as if he needed permission.

It took Kaito a moment before he finally did just that, unable to stand Kokichi’s wailing and grief. It was hard not to start crying himself, especially when Kaito’s shirt was being dampened by Kokichi’s muffled grief. 

“K… Kokichi,” Shuichi whimpered, and his voice wavered. Even if it was awkward, Shuichi moved in closer to wrap his arms around Kaito and Kokichi. Wanting to soothe him, but being unable to. He was crying too. “Why… Why didn’t you tell us? Why did you hide that from us?”

“Ghhh… ugh…” Kokichi couldn’t even speak. Something about that shook the tears loose from Kaito’s eyes, and he tightened his hold on him. “Ghh…! ‘Lana…! I, I--”

“Shh, we know,” Kaito couldn’t stand it, to hear Kokichi like so. He tightened the embrace again. “We know.”

“I--I--” Yet Kokichi wasn’t deterred. “Couldn’t stop… thinking ‘bout it, what you said when I t-told you ‘bout her,” He blubbered and sobbed. “I wanted t’prove you wrong! So I… I took the r-rabbit to her, and tried to make ‘er talk, or… p-prove she was still in there… and…! And she jus’ stared at me, not even answerin’ or anything!” Kokichi was shaking, trembling so viciously even when Kaito held him in place. His shoulders shook with heavy, deep sobbing and wailing as he spoke with slurred words. “She must’ve… got fed up, and she a-attacked me…!”

Suddenly, Shuichi and Kaito tensed, but Shuichi was the one to ask; “Did… she bite you?”

“N… no.” Kokichi shook his head, and while Kaito felt relieved, he didn’t think it was smart to completely trust Kokichi. A bite wasn’t a death sentence, but if he wasn’t properly treating it, the virus would wreak havoc on his system in just a few days. They would have to check over him later, just to be sure. “She… she got the rabbit as soon as she knocked it from my hand, and she moved to the corner of the hall t’eat it… And she s-sat ‘nd started eatin’ it… Like some kind of wild animal.”

Kokichi started hyperventilating, sobbing to the point where he looked like he was struggling to breathe. He even started gasping for air. “You were right. She’s been gone… all this time, I’ve jus’ been takin’ care of a zombie with no chance of savin’ her… No chance at all! So… So I… While she was eatin’ I took my gun, and I… I…”

He started sobbing harder, unable to finish what he was saying, but he didn’t need to elaborate anyway.

“I wanna g-go back,” he begged. “I w-wanna go back, I--I wrapped her head up, and I--I tucked her into bed, and put her favorite s-stuffed animals with her--” he hiccuped. “I w-wanna go back and b-be with her, ‘nd tell her it’s gonna be all right--” he started breathing harder, voice pushed into a higher register from the grief and guilt Kokichi surely felt. “I wanna go back ‘nd hold her and tell her it’s gonna be all right, I wanna be w-with her, she--she’s my baby sister, I was supposed to take care of her--I was s-supposed to keep her safe, I was her big b-brother and her leader…! I--I can’t t-take it anymore, I jus’ wanna die! I was… I was gonna go find her, and th-then… with the last bullet, gonna… gonna go to sleep, hold her and sleep forever--”

Unable to take it anymore, Shuichi hushed Kokichi after a quiet sob, hugging him as tightly as he could. They both did, they all were shaking and crying in a hopeless world with no future.

“God… damn it, Kokichi,” Kaito growled, not meaning to sound angry or annoyed but the raspiness of his own voice betraying that notion. “Why…? Why didn’t you come get one of us? Why didn’t you come get _me?_ I would’ve… done it for you. You didn’t… it wasn’t your responsibility.”

“Yes it was,” Kokichi argued. “I was… s-supposed to take care of her, I’m… I’m a failure of a leader and a brother…! I… I was the one who kept her living corpse alive, I… I had to… It was my responsibility!”

“Ghh… That’s…” 

Kaito knew that it wasn’t really the case, but it was hard to fight Kokichi’s grief when it reflected his own so terribly. All of them, they all shared their grief at the end of the world.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Shuichi whined, drawing in his own silent sobbing. He buried his face in Kokichi’s shoulder. “It wasn’t.”

Kokichi insisted otherwise, but Kaito and Shuichi knew that wasn’t true. Yet they couldn’t argue with him, not like this. They just had to let him cry it out, and then they would have to talk about it when he sobered up.

Silently, Kaito promised himself that he would never let Kokichi take on that responsibility ever again.


End file.
